- Don’t
come
- If
you do come, come late
- When
you do come, come with a grouch
- After
every service ask yourself “What did I get out of this?”
- Never
accept an office, its better to stay outside and criticize
- Visit
other churches about half the time, this lets your minister know that
you’re not tied to him, there is nothing like independence
- Let
the pastor earn his money, let him do all the work
- Sit
pretty well back and never sing, if you do sing, sing out of tune and behind
everybody else
- Never
pay in advance, wait until you get your moneys worth and then wait a little
longer
- Never
encourage the preacher, if you like a sermon keep mum about it, many a good
preacher has been ruined by flattery, don’t let his blood be on your head
- Its
good to tell your pastor’s failings to any stranger that might happen in,
they might be a long time finding them out
- Of
course you can’t be expected to get new members for the church with such a
pastor
- If
your church unfortunately happens to be harmonious call it apathy, or
indifference, or lack of zeal, or anything under the sun except what it is
- If
there happens to be a few zealot workers in the church make a tremendous
protest against the church being run by a clique
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